Embarrassing moments at Tremadoc - Roger Dyke
By Roger Dyke
Since I seem to be able to have embarrassing moments most places, this could be the first of a long-running series. But I was probably at my most entertaining at Tremadoc. I didn't even need to leave the carpark there.
At the time I had a vast Ford Zodiac, known to my work crew as The Admiral's Barge. It was unusual in having a well-dented back end - with all the dents from the inside, making bulges outward. Finished gearing up at the garage [Eric's Café now] one morning, I shouted "Everyone got what they want out of the car?", pushed down the locking lever on the driver's door, and slammed it. With the keys still in the ignition. A lad from another club heard my swearing, and said "What's up mate?" I told him. "You're lucky - we've got xxxxx with us. I'll send him over." A large man arrives. "You the stupid f***r who's locked his keys in?" "Yes" " Let's look." He leans against the side of the car, and 7 seconds later opens the drivers door and walks off quickly before I can thank him - I'm so astonished. I couldn't find him, but later I saw the man who'd sent him over and expressed my thanks and amazement. "Well, I'd have been surprised if he hadn't opened it - he's a professional car thief - steals cars to order like."
Willans Harnesses came out. Excellent. But were only securely attached when the rope was threaded thro the three front loops. Roping up at the bottom of Oberon, a guy dislocated his shoulder and fell off [in that order] , landing at our feet without serious further damage. We left his mates to sort him out and I set off up Y Broga. It was my party piece, and I did it with one piece of gear, a MOAC at the crux just where there is no longer an edge to layback on. You really don't need anything before that, and if you can do the crux you certainly don't need anything after it. So today I slot my MOAC in, reach down for the rope? and it is threaded a few inches thro the loops of the harness but not tied. "Keith - don't do anything with the rope - just keep it still." Rope in MOAC won't reach harness, and only gear loops to clip it to anyway. My wife can tie bowlines single-handed, but not me. It's not a relaxing position here, and reversing 15ft of layback doesn't appeal.
(Y Broga has since got much harder, polished to glass by folk slipping on the crux. I'm not responsible for that, honest.)
We were on a VS that crossed Vector, and I'd taken a fairly minimal belay because there was a nice ledge to stand on and I seemed to have even less gear than normal. Just as my partner joined me, a dark lanky character appeared from nowhere, made very rude remarks about the inadequacy of our belay, and soloed off up Vector (E2, 5c for the newcomers) shouting back over his shoulder "It's people like you have accidents."
It had rained for days, but it was Sunday and we were on our way to Tremadoc in April sunshine. En route we gave a lift to an old man (at least 60!) who had done a little climbing long ago. Nice guy, but as we dropped him off he gave us, very seriously, some advice: " When you youths get to Tremadoc, look out for loose rock. All the rain we've had these last few days, there'll be rock falling down or coming away in your hands." We listened politely and thanked him, but when we were on our way again we laughed at his caution. "It's not rain that loosens rock: it's freeze and thaw - everyone knows that."
30 minutes later we were ten feet apart changing boots at the bottom of Poor Man's Peuterey, with the sun filtering through the trees. In the space of no more than a couple of seconds, there was a quick series of bangs, and a hefty slab of rock landed between us.
Keith looked at me: "Like the old man said?."
Fortunately, none of our gear was under the rock, because we couldn't have moved it.
Another Y Broga story - second pitch this time. I'd led the first, and my partner led the second. As he belayed at the top, the rain came down in torrents. I just couldn't get up one bit, even after shouting for and getting a tight rope. Just too polished and slimy. Then all of a sudden the rope went really tight, and I shot up with little effort on my part. At the top I thanked my partner. "That was hell of a tight rope you gave me." "Wasn't me", he said "This man came along and heard you, and said 'What your mate needs is a bit of a pull' and he reached in front of me, gave you a great yank, handed me the slack and went off." We never knew who it was, even whether it was a climber or just someone out for a walk, but he was certainly strong.
Behind you when you are starting Y Broga is Merlin, my favourite route at Tremadoc. I could climb Merlin in any weather, and one day it was any weather, but somehow I persuaded my partner that we'd driven that far so we should do something and Merlin was a bit sheltered. I set off up to the overhang - still dry under there - and put a tape round the little tree. As I clipped the rope in I fell off backwards. Well, downwards actually but that was backwards if you follow because I was about horizontal under the overhang. Partner had just given me a load of slack so I could clip, and waist belays don't stop you instantly especially if the second is perhaps not terribly committed to proceedings and knows you won't fall off anyway. So I reached the platform 8ft below just as the rope went tight. Happily, I had gone between two rocks, either of which could have broken my back. I was totally unhurt, but firmly wedged by my bottom in the slot between them, lying out almost flat on my back.
I couldn't help myself much - I was like a sheep on its back - and partner swinging on the rope didn't unplug me. Me pulling on the rope while he held it tight didn't help either. Once we had recovered from fits of laughter he climbed up and managed to sort of peel me out. I can take a hint: I retrieved the sling and we called it a day.
It's probably as well the rope didn't put much stress on the little tree, because soon after the entire overhang - several tons of it - fell down. I'm not responsible for that, honest.
