Fontainebleau Bouldering, France

A small yet dedicated trio set off this year. Let's start with the travel. We left South Manchester at 3am, opting to go for quiet roads and hoping for not too many motorway closures. With a glamorous sunrise around the M25, it was plain sailing to our ferry at 11:30 (would go for 10:30 in future). We paid over the odds for the toll route in France which saved 1.5 hours apparently. On our return, we got the 19:00 ferry which was great in terms of having all day to get there (but still being rushed at the hypermarché), leaving the campsite at 11:30am. Arriving back in Mancunia at 2am, it was a long slog mainly due to 50mph speed restrictions on a fair bit of English motorway. Well done to Steven for the driving, fuelled by caffeine and the capacity to imbibe a lot of it. We nearly had 4 in the car with the roof box, which would have meant someone coming with no change of clothes and 2 people being very squished. 3 is therefore recommended as the optimum number in a 7 seater car, saving on costs but not on semblance of comfort.

Day 1 - Guichot - tuning into the rock

Mainly Slabs, 1 high ball, we stumbled around looking like new arrivals. Circumnavigation walk in (it's a thing for many of us in Fontainebleau), with 50 metre return to parking. In the evening we settled down to our first fire with the washing machine drum. A young man approaches and says we look like the kind of people who would have a bottle opener. We weren't sure how to take that. But he was right. We requested a joke in return. He obliged but I'm afraid it was not memorable.

Day 2 - Roches aux Sabots (rocks to the clogs?)

Bit of a theme park/center parks what with it being Easter holidays across Europe. So we trekked through the forest to Segnolole which was indeed quieter, and rather marbley. In the evening we were informed a rumour was now in circulation around the campsite that we were lending out a bottle opener in exchange for a joke. This joke was memorable but not transferable by written format. It works more as a physical joke. So you'll have to ask us if you want to experience it. We think it will be worth it. I can actually remember it.

Day 3 - Canche aux Merciers

Main advice here is don't trust technology, good old map reading is the only way to get there. Lovely area with lots of variety. Claire and Steven worked a blue slab and succeeded - Aladdin, 4c. More marbley rock, crimp city, polished feet. The site of Claire's first full crimp.

 

Day 4

Another later than desired start. Colder than desired too. Destination dog's anus: Cul de chien. Busy busy. Orange circuit for Caro & Clare, gnarly reds for Steven & non KMC friends. Then we headed to rocher aux sabots (cloggy rock) and bumped into Rob Emery & family. This spot was a lot quieter from mid afternoon. Claire finally recovered from the bottle of wine that was too nice the night before, and climbed some tasty reds, oranges & blues with Steven. With scary descents. Caro was on coaching, photography and problem scouting duties. It was really hard work.

Conversing with fellow campers, Steven found depot staff comrades (Birmingham depot) and we still haven't managed to find out what this phrase means: rest day. Yes, it's the word rest next to the word day. We concluded this must be a new term used by the younger generations.

Day 5

By the time we are now able to get out before midday, our fingers have no prints and our bodies are a tad broken. We didn't get lost on our way to Apremont (Centre). Nor did we take any wrong turns. We merely circumvented the climbing destination to visit some amazing caves.

Caro wanted to complete La fenetre (DNF, 2023) but it was harder than remembered. And maybe more polished? Or just harder. Caro completed another 5a that she didn't finish last time so at least a taste of victory was savoured. Claire's mantle beta saved the day.

Day 6

Given it was now the start of Easter weekend and it was getting busier, we headed first to the somewhat esoteric Dame Juanne. This felt like the wildest spot with the most fauna: so many lizards/geckos, flying beetles, butterflies, with an awesome scramble to the top. Some amazing caves and vista of the forest with no sign of Paris at all. Bonus points to Steven for re-discovering the wonderful very little bakery in Villiers Sur Grez which won best cake of the week.

Dame jouanne was dominated by rocks that were too high ball with difficult to protect landings, so we headed for Elephant. We had to introduce Claire to the Elephant even though you can't climb it anymore. The main area was very busy but big enough to still get on stuff. We enjoyed the easy high ball stuff on the sunny afternoon with their big pockets. Cheese block was completed by Steven (DN quite F last time).

Climbing guide preferred by some was the boolder app. Some of us dinosaurs still used the Jingo Wobbly, certainly wobbly at times, guide book.

Other more general observations include: no epic sends to report, we mainly climbed orange and blue circuits and fondled some reds; too many lovely fun rocks and problems to mention by name. Suspicions raised from Caro and Steven that the rock was more polished than last time we were there (2023). Campsite wasn't as busy which was a surprise. If ever you go, take heed: after thorough empirical study (and ample cold showers), it was the showers to the left of each row that were warmer (because they are closer to the water heaters?). The Burrito van can save the day, especially if it's a long day and you really don't want to cook or wash up. You can order on your way out and pick up til 20:45. They sell nice bottles of font beers too so we finally got our hands on a Font 7a and 6B, albeit only in bottle form. And finally, it wouldn't be a report if we didn't mention the weather. Which unexpectedly turned out alright but did mean we didn't rest much. Arriving and setting up camp in proper rain was disconcerting. It was still a bit chilly at night and the French midges are fierce!

- Caro C

Caro Churchill