From our Lancaster Correspondent the following :

Defendants: Tony Gask, Lester Payne, Graham Harkness, John Dobson, Ian Lee, Keith Todd.

The Charge: Anthony John Gask did conspire with persons aforesaid to travel to the Scottish highlands where they did fail to carry out any significant mountaineering, contrary to KMC practice. All plead not guilty.

The facts: Lester and Tony made a late start on Friday morning, did proceed in a northerly direction, as far as Loch Lomond, in cloudy conditions [Ed - hung over?], and did claim to have bagged Ben Vane, a known Munro. In the evening Inbhirfhaolin was reached, meeting most of the other defendants where determined assaults were made on the solid fuel stove (In mitigation they say they were trying to light it) They also did lurk round various bushes, alleging they were looking for A. Loo, alias Elsan. Graham had an alibi, not arriving until early the next morning, at breakfast, due having been for a curry after work (he works in Geordie land you recall) Fortunately Elsan had been found by then.

It is alleged that the plan was to go up the Ben, preferably by No 5 gully, all to do with Tony being over the hill, or some such nonsense. The furthest they got on Saturday was Kinlockleven (plea of diminished mental state) and walked back to Inbhirfhaolin. Lester is cleared of this charge, having used the "my boots are killing me" precedent and returned to Kinlockleven. Precipitation in sight, as they say in the shipping forecast, summarises that walk; what was not in sight was inside Tony's so called waterproofs. A quick change and a cup of tea then it was drive back to Kinlockleven to collect Tony's car and rescue his tapes from Lester's clutches. Another chapter in the annals of mountaineering was not made; in mitigation a visit to the Clachaig pub is cited.

Sunday: more precipitation in sight. A walk was made almost as far as Etive slabs, across very boggy ground, but all lost interest before getting there. Back at the hut, luncheon was taken, before most of the team shot off to Nevis sport, now there's a hint of mountaineering surely. It is a lovely quite spot, a cosy hut once the solid fuel stove is mastered. They are slowly doing it up by the way, and have started making a nice kitchen, though no plumbing yet, and one still has to collect water from the burn.

Monday: continuing unsettled, with showers, heavy at times: the forecast for another low level walk, along part of the highland way, starting at Blackmount and ending up near that Glencoe ski areas (virtually no snow) where a double car act was performed. It hardly rained at all, though the cloud level was down, so a Munro could have been bagged, but getting wet four days on the trot is sometimes too much to contemplate

Verdict: not guilty, due to adverse meteorological conditions; the defendants are acquitted but advised to go to Mallorca next year.

End of Meet report but I have more to say :

I was getting rather fed up with Scotland that winter, with little snow to ski on, and generally mild/wet conditions, a private trip in April was spoilt by the weather. Our visit to Skye in June was by contrast fantastic, very warm, a brilliant blue ski most of the time; the only complications being dehydration and the wear and tear on my finger ends. I managed to climb up the Cioch, the Dubh slabs rising majestically from Coruisk, and the Bastier Tooth (thanks to Mark)

Later in the summer I did something else I had been meaning to do for some time, namely go up one of the Monte Rosa peaks, a snow plod but it is such a grand situation way above 4000 metres. This was part of a holiday based on hut to hut in the Italian, Aosta area, which I recommend very highly. The huts were of a high standard (the Abruzzi hut excepted, not recommended) large amounts of excellent food and generally comfortable sleeping quarters, all with interesting loos. I recall the place which had fine flushing loos, two of them, but a block some 300 metres away, and especially this dialogue as someone was setting off across the snow in his flip flops: "It's quite a trek to the loos ...Well they're built in the french style ... what? ... Toulouse Lautrec!"

AND NOW: Seriously now a word about the KMC, after 20 years as a member I can claim to have seen its moods, many changes, controversies and intrigues, not the least to do with the hut, so I really mean it when I say the KMC is in very good shape and I am glad to be a member. Which is why I am doing another meet this October.