Cornish Counsel: The Great Zawn

Present : (all or part) Dave Bone, Linda Crossley, Cathy Devine, Dave Dillon, Jeremy Engineer, Lorna Marsland, Dave Shotton, Mary Stuart, Levi Todd, Alan Wylie, Dave Wylie.

The Great Zawn, the chosen and the beloved sat upon the thrown of Trevedra. He shed his garments, but for small flowery shorts and a scarf to cover his nakedness, and let his skin meet the sun and the wind.

The People came to meet him and ask him: Give us of your Truth.

The Irish Lady said: Pray tell me how long doth it take to boileth an egge? And He answered: You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable ... errr depends whether you like it soft or hard. She lay beneath the stars with a hot Toddy. She asketh the man if he had early morning stiffness.

And the Bearded Saab spoke, saying tell me of the cure of the pain of the big toe. The Bearded Saab brought offerings of knowledge of the mathematics of the earth's elements. The Great Zawn said: much of your pain is self-chosen, examine your backside.

The a holistic therapist came forth and said: Oh, Great Zawn, take me to great heights. And it came to pass that he rose and obliged for which she showed gratitude and she lay down for him and the power of his hands brought great relief and comfort.

When the Great Zawn felt happy, the sun shone and the Great Zawn lay and beheld his people conquer many Very Difficult challenges.

Cathy laid back and Engineered her way up the Anvil Chorus. Dave Bone beamed and Levi-tated his way up many a Hopeless Vertical Slab. Dave Shotton Demo'd his crochet skills though the nose of the Route. David Baily-Wylie saved himself for greater things to come. And one of the Great Zawn's people, lover of unreachable heights, sought to take the Great Zawn where gulls build their nests. The people heard her cries and the beating of wings and watched the prom-enade where the Lands End.

When the Great Zawn was not happy, the rains fell, so his people packed up and went home.

This is a work of facticity. Any relationship to and work of fiction or allusion to anything other than climbing or the actual events is entirely coincidental.

Superb sea cliff climbing on S and W facing cliffs, VD to E4. Camping at Treveddra farm GR SW369274 (Map 203) by the beach. Centrally situated for Chair Ladder and Bosigran.

Some routes for you delectation: Bosigran Ridge VDiff 210m **, varied climbing on perfect blocky granite. Fine position, constant exposure. One of the great sea cliff classics. Doorpost HS (4a,4b,4a) 56m ***, One of Britain's great severes giving exposure, position and excellent climbing. Suicide Wall E1 (4b,5a) 64m ***, splendid expedition. Bow Wall E2(5b,5b) 53m ***, a great line up the overhanging heart of the main cliff. One of the most famous Cornish climbs. Kafoozalem E3 (6a) 37m ***, magnificent route taking a stunning crack line.

Culminating in a weekend on the Culm Coast on Dave Bones meet. See Mary or Linda regarding sharing transport etc.